Have they no shame? 3 of the worst celebrity artists (and 3 of my favourite)

Sure, art is subjective and all artistic expression is fundamentally a good thing. But if you ask me, some of it just plain stinks.

And when it comes to producing and promoting bad art, there's no repeat offender quite like the celebrity. Especially actors. And especially if they're good actors... If I'm good at one thing, the thinking seems to go, surely I'll be good at everything else, right? Hell no! (Even the best drawing tablets can't help them.)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hater. I spent years working on tutorial-based art magazines that were all about encouragement and positivity, celebrating diverse digital artists. But why can't these guys keep it to themselves? It's like watching a stranger enjoying the smell of their own fart in public.

And when Johnny Depp – a particularly profound art criminal – sells his 2022 debut art collection Heroes and Villains for a cool $3.6 million, there's no denying that some people really like this stuff. So am I being an art snob? Absolutely not. Moving on...

Want to tell me why I've got it wrong, or add some of your own choices to the list (good or bad)? Head down to the comments section and let the venting begin!

Johnny Depp

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Johnny Depp is a remarkably attractive human being and a good actor who's worked on some brilliant films. His art is very, very not very good.

It's not the laziness of taking other people's photographs of celebrities (including himself) and making screen prints of them, with an added splurge of paint or marker pen scrawl. Chuck Close worked from photographs, though admittedly he took them himself and the resulting art redefined modern portraiture.

It's the absolute emptiness of the end result. They mean nothing. Soulless reproductions of images that don't even convey the artist's obvious respect of the subject. If we're being generous, there's a whiff of Warhol about them, but they mainly look like Athena poster art from the 2000s.

For balance, let's hear from Mr Depp himself: "If the piece resonates with even one person, this art has purpose."

Well, damn, he's right, isn't he?! Crap.

Moving on...

Jim Carey

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Me and my partner love Jim Carrey. He's a great comedic and dramatic actor and seems to channel the right kind of chaos for our tastes. But when I showed her a selection of Jim's masterpieces she was disappointed. "Can he not just save it for himself... Save it for your own joy, Jimbo".

I guess that's the only real point of this article (if indeed there is one). Of course, people making art is never a bad thing, no matter how derivative or vacuous the work is. It's just that these pieces of art would not be sold for many many dollars if they weren't made by famous famous people. And said famous people seem to think that they really are good at art. I mean, where's the self-awareness?

Oh god, I sound incredibly bitter now, don't I?

Moving on...

James Franco

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James is an artistic juggernaut that simply will not stop creating art. You cannot stop him.

To be fair, I laughed at his painting Fat Stallion (part of a larger 'Fat' series). Laughter is a good thing, and there's definitely humour in some of Franco's art, whether purposeful or not. That's something wholly absent from so many of the poe-faced 'celebtists' (shall we make that a thing? No? OK then).

But when he's not making animals fat, he's ripping off Jean Michel Basquiat or insinuating himself into other artist's work, as he did with his take on Cindy Sherman’s Untitled Film Stills. And that's not cool.

3 great celeb artists

Noel Fielding

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Talking of funny, every piece of art from Noel Fielding seems to be made with both humour and terror. Unlike the bad ones above, the subject of Noel's art seems to be the cozy nightmares that dance through his mind. Not the famous cool friends that he has, not other artists' work, and not himself.

I love them. Each stroke of paint or pastel fits into the piece just so. There's something murky about much of it, with character's features melting into the background and foreground at the same time. They're chaotic and silly and so much fun. And I mean silly as a compliment. Being silly in art is rare, and it betrays a confidence in the artist. So much of the art world is about being taken seriously. Noel doesn't seem to mind too much about that as he revels in the surreal and absurd.

Don Van Vliet (Captain Beefheart)

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Sometimes I love not knowing exactly why I love something. I got that from music. I found that when I heard something for the first time, and I didn't really know whether I liked it or not, when I came back to it later, I nearly always found it was because it was doing something really interesting that I couldn't appreciate at first.

That's the vibe when it comes to the art of Captain Beefheart legend Don Van Vliet. Initially I didn't get it, and was a little confused. Then I started to appreciate the mystery of his art. I have no idea what's going on, of who the subject is. But there's a harmony to each composition, and they're all very satisfying to look at. I love them, and I don't really want to know why.

Joe Lycett

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It's safe to say that all the artwork on this page – both good and bad – can best be described as naive. That just means no one here is a draftsman; no one possesses sharp drawing skills, a deep knowledge of anatomy or perspective and certainly no one is aiming for realism.

And none of that matters, because as Joe Lycett shows, you can do a lot with an insanely manic colour palette and a wicked sense of humour. He once said something along the lines of, 'If one of my paintings is serious, I've failed.' He is also adamant about reminding people that art is for them to make, regardless of skill. That's something I can get behind.

And you can decide for yourself where Robbie Williams sits on this list – though our editor enjoyed his Radical Honesty exhibition – find out more here.